What will make you happy? Am I supposed to disappear into school and find a different job so I can work 65 hours a week instead of 60? Should I fall so far off radar that I forget what the light of day feels like… A drone, for God knows how long. Not a second of the day left to spare. Is that what you truly want me to do?
What happens when you forget? What happens when my absence means less and less? The amount of communication will begin to dwindle as your life gets busier and busier.. And then a few visits a month turns into maybe two, soon.. You’ll eventually think I’m not worth visiting, not worth the drive.
I thought carving more time to set for just us would get us to where we need to be. Time to be us, a couple. But instead we’re always hundreds of miles apart.. Miserable.
No matter what I do, I’m trying my hardest. And I don’t feel like I’m enough. I don’t know what I should do differently… Lost in the abyss of miscommunication. I wish you would just tell me what you want, tell me what would make you happy.